Grab a snack!

First off, I apologize. It's been three months. I realize this is no excuse. But thanks to good friends who hold me accountable, I am getting back on the blog bandwagon. Of course, with three months passing by and an author who is not only in an intense grad program, but also planning a wedding, this might be a long post! Feel free to grab a snack… You might need one...........................

Now that you have a snack in hand, let me fill you in on school. I had just started the summer semester last time I had posted, and it was coming at me fast. I had Clinical Medicine, which was the core class of the summertime. It consisted of eight different sections of medicine, purely focused on that section and nothing else. It was a wonderful class for the fact that you weren't focused on minutia such as where this muscle inserted on that bone, or which ion came out of the cell when the ion channel was opened. The bad thing about the class was the fact that it was REALLY fast paced, and there was one test a week! So, we had a test the sixth day of school and every 4-5 days after that. I struggled for the first little while, not being used to the fast pace of it all. Also, required reading consisted of 2 millimeter tall print in a book that is five inches thick and with pages the thin consistency of pages out of the Bible. It made for some long nights and early mornings! I found quickly that my best subjects were dermatology, OB/GYN, and pulmonology. To my disdain, I found that my worst subjects are hematology/oncology, rheumatology, and orthopedics. Being from a rehabilitation background, I was thinking that orthopedics would have been my forte because of all the patients that I had dealt with. Not so much. Then, I had pharmacology. We had one quiz a week with 25 new drugs to learn. Talk about learn and purge. :) Honestly, it was a good class, and I am going to have Advanced Pharmacology, so I am looking forward to learning some more of that. The best part? We don't have to learn the 25 new drugs a week. Thank goodness. Then there were other classes like Clinical Assessment II and Professional Issues Seminar. Good classes, but nothing noteworthy.

I struggled a little bit, but there were good days too. There's nothing like the feeling of cooping yourself up in the library from 8 AM to 6 PM and doing extra work at home to go in and have a good test on a Monday morning. Yes, there were some tears again this semester, mostly for Clinical Assessment. I believe I psyched myself out about the first test in that class--that, and I should have studied rectal and prostate exams a little more. For the first test, I got a C. Dang. There were only two tests in that class, so I knew I had to do well on the other one, which turned out to be a harder test. For that reason, I'm still puzzled how everyone else did so well on their first test and so bad on the second test. I got a 91% on the second. Sure helped to bring the grade up. :)

One of the best experiences this summer was doing a one-day clinical at St. Louis University. MSU has a partnership with them so that we are able to perform pap smears and breast, rectal, testicular, and prostate exams on live patients (as opposed to doing them on our classmates, like all the other physical exams). Those live patients are also instructors who guide you through the process. It was really a GREAT experience to get to go up and perform those kinds of invasive exams. Yes, even the rectal exams. Not only that, but it was nice to get to hang out with some good friends at the Hard Rock Café at Union Station in St. Louis.

Here are the grades for the summer semester. Looking back, it went super fast! You'll notice there is a class with an Incomplete grade. I'll explain.

After we got out of class on July 24th, we still had to do two weeks of clinicals for Clinical Practicum I. This is where the real fun began! I can't believe that I wasn't the least bit nervous AT ALL! We were assigned to one week in one setting and a second week in one setting. I had volunteered for Hospice, and I was really hopeful that I would get the position. We have 26 students who needed two weeks each. The possibility that I would get a week in Hospice was pretty low, but it happened. That's where I was headed for my first week. However, when I called to confirm five days ahead of time, I was informed that the physician would be flying out of town for a family medical emergency out of the country, and he would be leaving the day that I was supposed to be there. I was then placed with Teresa Barr, an intensivist PA at Cox Hospital. Luckily, she was in pulmonology. Having a good knowledge and confidence about this subject, I was STOKED about this rotation. I began early on Monday morning, and I was introduced to a lot of people on my first day. Everyone's response to it being my first day of my first clinical was, "Wow, and you got thrown into ICU? You're brave!" Was I? Was I that brave? It didn't hit me that it was such an 'honor' to be in ICU for the first day. I was proud AND stoked at that point! Before I knew it, I was looking up labs, performing physical exams, and writing up assessments and plans for patients. These were the kinds of patients I had never come into contact with either. It was exciting, and with ever SOAP note I wrote, I felt more confident. I had my white jacket and name tag on and my stethoscope around my neck. It felt SO good to be out of the classroom, working with patients, and making connections with those in a field where I am soon going to be working.

Told you the snack was going to come in handy. I'd like to share a few stories with you...

One of the first patients that I saw on Monday morning was a little elderly African-American woman who was in her very last stages of life. She was intubated and in a coma. Her daughter was nearby, and she had a history of barking orders to EVERYONE on the staff about her mother's care, whether or not it was what she truly needed--and according to my precepting PA, it wasn't. The patient had a perforated bowel and free air in her abdomen. Her lungs, kidneys, and liver had failed. Her abdomen was the most firm abdomen I had EVER felt. She badly needed dialysis because of her failing kidneys, but she was too frail to be a candidate for the long procedure. Teresa had explained to me that there was a strange phenomenon that some patients may do when they are near death. She described it as a "fish head" movement. Basically, the patients head starts small upwards jerks that are uncontrollable. Every three seconds or so, the patient's head would nod up just a small bit. It was very interesting. I knew that the patient was in bad shape. However, I was slightly taken aback when two nurses wheeled out a green covered cart later and started clearing out her room. Just like that, she was gone.

The last thing we did on Monday was a consultation for a physician back in CCU. We had a 43 year old female patient who had been admitted to the CCU after a suicide attempt by insulin overdose. She was a Type I diabetic who had an insulin pump. When EMS found her at her home, she had a blood sugar of 13. She had once before attempted suicide in January, but had failed. The patients family slowly trickled in, shocked by what had happened. Long story short, I was taking care of her all week. Her durable power of attorney was in the hands of her two daughters, ages 14 and 17, and they were left with the issue of withdrawing support on their comatose mother. It was hard to watch. They decided to donate her organs as well. The patient has a completely grim prognosis, having a positive Babinski reflex, no blink or corneal reflexes, and no response to painful stimuli. I think the hardest part for me was watching the woman's father cry. He would stand by her bedside and simply cry. I think that was hard for me because of the fact that I am so close to my daddy. The patient ended up going down to the OR for organ donation, where the ventilator was turned off and she was allowed to breathe on her own for 90 minutes if she could. After that point, she was extubated and taken to her own room, still with a grim prognosis. It was sad when I looked in the newspaper and saw the woman's obituary the next weekend. To the stark contrast of her appearance in CCU, the woman was ABSOLUTELY beautiful in her obituary picture. I couldn't understand HOW or WHY it had happened. As my preceptor pointed out and I totally agreed with, we failed her in January when we didn't get her the help she needed then.

We also had patients that were in car accidents, those that had surgery, and a few other patients. I learned SO much with Teresa and the Nurse Practitioner who worked as her counterpart on Teresa's days off. I was grateful for the experiences there and the encouragement that I got from both of these care providers.

My second week was spent with Dr. Chan Ngo at the Jordan Valley Health Clinic. I was slightly apprehensive about being in this clinic. I wasn't sure why. I think it was the fact that I was going to have to do patient interviews and then present to my supervising physician about each of my patients. I was seeing a completely different patient population. All of those things put together made for a slight apprehension. It all faded when I talked to my first patient. I had a great experience at the JVHC. I was amazed at their clinic because of the fact that they have the ability to do labs, x-rays, and dental care on site. I didn't think that I would want to go back to work there after clinicals, but seeing the relationship between providers and patients and the ability that the clinic had to take the best care of their patients, I would welcome the opportunity to serve back at the clinic.

One story that sticks out from my mind at the clinic was one that took me by surprise. By Thursday afternoon, I was into the habit of looking at my patient's chart before I went to see them. I immediately recognized the name of a patient who I had had during my time as a nurse assistant at St. John's Inpatient Rehab. I didn't know if she would recognize me or even remember me. I took a breath and started down the hallway to see her. I stepped into the room. Before I even said hello, she gasped and said, "Oh my goodness! Ashley!" I was so happy to see her--she was one of my FAVORITE patients I ever had in rehab. Before I even started the patient interview, I asked her how she was doing since she had left rehab after her stroke. She told me that she was doing great. She was an African-American preacher who spoke with fervor about God. I asked her if she was "still preaching the Gospel," to which she responded with a grin, "Honey, I baptized a girl last week, and I'm preaching again next Sunday." We both sat there with tears in our eyes. After we finished the medical interview and I had to move on to my next patient, she grabbed my hand and told me she was proud of me. You see, this woman was with me in rehab a year ago when I got the interview to go to PA school. She would pray with me about getting into school. After she was discharged from rehab, she would come back in for outpatient therapy. I happened to see her after I was accepted, and when she saw me she asked about school. I was happy to tell her the good news! It made my day to see her in the clinic. We had literally come full circle!

That's actually a perfect lead in for my next point... It was exactly one year ago that Mike and I were in Chicago, sitting down to dinner at Uno's Pizza. My phone had died, so I used Mike's phone to call my voicemail. I knew it was a good sign when I had a message from Cynthia, the secretary of the MSU PA program. When I called her back, she was calling to set up an interview for school. That was August 13th. My interview was September 13th, and I got the acceptance call at 10:44 AM on October 8th, 2008. Aside from the application process, this journey started one year ago. One year later, and I can't believe I am here. It has absolutely flown!!! Tears and smiles. Ups and downs. I can't believe I am one semester away from starting one full year of clincials. One and a half years away from the rest of my life. After two weeks of clinicals, I can honestly say that I made a good decision. I wanted to be a PA from the moment I read about the career back in 2005. I knew that's what I wanted to do.

Wow... Now what about the next biggest moment in my life? December 20th is getting ever closer! I am 129 days away from marrying Michael Brandon Schnell. We have finished so much of our wedding planning! I bought my dress July 3rd! Trying it on made me tear up. It was the PERFECT dress. It made me wish it was my wedding day every day! Just a few weeks ago, I bought my bridesmaids dresses! I love them too! It made me wish I was a bridesmaid in my own wedding, which is totally impossible! On a slightly sad note, Megan stepped down as one of my bridesmaids. I completely understood when she told me her reason, and I had actually considered it already. Megan and Nathan are due to have their baby girl on December 8th. They were concerned that they would be so involved with their baby girl that they didn't want to take a chance of "messing things up" for me. They would NEVER have messed things up for me at all! I was concerned that I would be taking Megan away from their girl. I'm glad Megan is a good friend that she can come to me with her concerns instead of worrying about them for six months. Megan, I love you! I asked Andria Gibb to be one of my bridesmaids, and she was absolutely tickled! And I am tickled to have her too!

My biggest things I am looking at right now are flowers, cakes, and wedding favors. I need some ideas! Help me out! Winter weddings are a little hard to find flowers for! I will TRY to keep everyone updated!

Okay, if you're still reading, KUDOS TO YOU! I can't believe that I have made it this far myself! I PROMISE not to wait this long to blog ever again. It makes for long reading, long typing, and lots of M&MS, chips, or whatever it is that you snack on! Ciao!

Remember to breathe...

Wow! It's been a while since I've sat in this same chair to write!

So much has happened last time! Spring semester is OVER! Summer semester began today! And... Mike and I are engaged! Whew!

Mike and I got engaged at J Parrino's on May 6th! It was a beautiful dinner, but we hadn't even ordered dinner, and before I knew what was happening, Mike was on one knee! It was amazing. He's amazing, and I'm SO lucky. :) Little did I know what he had up his sleeve! Andy's Frozen Custard was for dessert, so we headed over after dinner. He had invited all our family on both sides and all our friends. I'm telling you--he's good. I SQUEALED more than I ever have, and I cried so many happy tears. We decided, when we got home that night, that we have the BEST friends and family ever. EVER.

Mike and I would get married tomorrow if we could. Is this going to happen? Is it even reasonable? Ha ha... NO. So far, we still don't have a date. We have a venue, colors, a guest list, and a photographer. But that's all the planning I have gotten to do so far! Mike and I agree that we would like to get married anytime we could, but we are keeping practicality in mind as well--that includes timing. Mike is going back to school this August, and I am going to be full-speed-ahead until December 2010. We will see what happens. But for now, this makes for some good writing! I'll keep you posted!

Speaking of school, I am DONE with one of the hardest semesters of my life. Spring 2009 is one for the record books. I finished with a beautiful 3.13 GPA. Amazing? Spectacular? Perfect? No, no, and no. But--there are no Cs on my grade report, and I simply didn't think that was possible. I got all the points I needed by spending some late night staring bleary-eyed at books. No coffee past noon. You know what I mean by that. :)

Summer semester started today, and this is what they is one of the best semesters. It's pedal-to-the-metal all the way through the semester. On the other hand, I am going to be learning some amazing things that I will see in practice. If there was ever a time for ABSORBING all the information I learn and NOT purging it out of my mind, now is the time. My classes--pharmacology, clinical assessment II, clinical medicine I, and professional issues seminar. Honestly? I'm excited. Unless I am completely ignorant about what may blind-side me this semester, this looks GREAT!!!

Well, back to the dermatology. Nothing like folliculitis, dermatitis, pustules, vesicles, Herpes, and telangiectasias. :)

So..... You're Saying There's a Chance?!

As we all know, I've battled. And I've cried. And I've prayed. And I've been given encouragement. And I've studied.

I have struggled with my physiology grade since... well, pretty much the beginning. I got a 50% on my first test. I wasn't ashamed to cry. I was, in my mind, out of the program. It was the WORST feeling in the world. In fact, I think there's a post about it here somewhere...

Just to refresh some memories, my second test was an 82%. I was pretty happy with that. That got me into C range with my grade, which is where I need to be to stay in the program at the bare minimum. I would settle for a C. Settling for a C is WAY better than the alternative. :(

Our third test was last Wednesday. So, I studied like crazy on Monday and Tuesday nights before the test, at "late" as 2 AM, only to turn around and get back up at 5 AM and study some more. Those were a rough couple of days!

Let's digress a moment for a funny story. On Tuesday night around 9:30 PM, I made a pot of coffee because I knew I still had about 5 hours worth of studying to do. The house was quiet because Mike was out of town. Sitting there, with my wonderful cup of coffee, I studied away. Finally, after I was mostly bleary-eyed from reading for nearly 12 hours straight, I got up, took a shower, and headed to bed, stopping to read about ten more pages before then. I turned off the light... and I heard a noise. I froze. I KNEW someone was outside my bedroom door in the hallway. After I got over the initial fear, I jumped out of bed and grabbed the baseball bat behind the door. Whoever was out there wasn't getting to me! I listened at my bedroom door, knowing there HAD to be someone there. I didn't hear the cat moving around, and I didn't hear any other noises for that matter. My heart was beating so hard. I noticed Mike's MagLite by the door, so I grabbed it, ready to use it like a club! After a couple minutes, I finally eased myself into bed, with my trusty bat and MagLite beside me, of course. I heard the noise again! I ran to the door again, MagLite in hand. I listened, said my prayers, unlocked the door, and flung it open!..... Nothing. Not in the hallway, office, office closet, hallway bathroom, living room, or kitchen. I had been imagining it! The cat just looked at me like I was crazy. Scolding myself, I headed back to my bed. I NEVER act like that. I came to learn a serious lesson that night. A string of late nights and early mornings don't mix well with a late night pot of coffee, even with the purpose of staying up to study.... Stupid coffee.

Okay, where was I? Oh, yes. Wednesday--test day. It was pretty much anti-climactic, but everyone else kept freaking out and asking a lot of questions during the test. When we left, they told another professor they thought they were out of the program. That bad, huh? I just didn't think so. We got our grades a week later. I looked at the grade with a little bit of cautious optimism........................ 92%. :O I know! I couldn't believe it! I was nearly in tears--AGAIN! This time was for a completely different reason. My class grade has risen from a 58% after the first test to a 77.5% after this exam. So, there's a chance that I could end up with a B. It's the perfect comeback story for me and physiology! So close.........

So, for all the encouragement--thank you. The prayers, studying, coffee, and tears are worth it!

Midterms and a Baby Boy

Good morning! It is a BEAUTIFUL day out already, and I will be honest--I have Spring Breakitis. It's only Wednesday, and I think my brain is shutting down, knowing I have the next full week off. :) In fact, would it be so bad for me to skip lab on Friday afternoon?! ;)


So, I survived midterms. I had mostly As and Bs, and here's how the midterm grades came out--4 As, 2 Bs, and 1 C... The physiology class is getting better, but it's going to take a lot of butt-kicking to bring up my grade. Unfortunately, that butt is mine!


Off the subject of school, I want to say a BIG Congratulations to Tim and Tonya Schnell, who had their first son, Deacon Maddox Schnell, on Friday, March 13, 2009. He was 7 lbs, 3 oz, and 19 1/2 inches long. He is absolutely gorgeous. Mike is officially an uncle! We were able to go to Warrensburg the evening Deacon was born, and it was an awesome experience. I was SO glad to be a part of it!



One more quick note, I can't believe it, but there are only 7 weeks of school. We have finished 10 weeks of school. Amazing! It's gone so fast!



More to come, hopefully soon!

It's been good...

So, no major news. Oh, wait! Yes, there is! I made an 88% on my first Pathophysiology test. I felt good about the test, and it showed. Technically, according to the PA program grading scale, that's an A! Anything 87% and up is an A! I will take it!

One more piece of minor news (apparently there was more news that I thought!)... My brother moved back in with our parents last weekend. That left Mike and I with an extra room--which I converted to my office! I miss my brother, and I know Mike does too. But, on the other hand, it's amazing to have a place all my own to do homework and study....

Things have been going smooth. I have no complaints. I read a lot, and that's not going to chance. I just wanted to post an update. Unfortunately, I have a huge amount of testing coming up in the next few weeks. It's midterm time already. Can you believe it?! I know I can't!

One last thing... It was 69 degrees outside, and I was fortunate enough to get out of class at 2:00. I went for a 3 mile jog... It was bliss. I think it will help me study better too! Back to the books!

The end of week 5...

So, it's been a rough week. First, I reveled in the 95% in Clinical Assessment. Things were off to a smooth start. Then, I was complacent with an 82% in Anatomy lecture--I wanted more, but I settle for that and vowed to do better. I was angry and confused with my 70% in Anatomy lab.

Then, the biggie... Physiology on Wednesday. I got the score today... 50%. That's right. That's even WITH a curve. What did I do? I cried--like a little girl. I cried to Mike. Then I called one of my friends to make sure the grades were actually posted correctly (which, they were), and I cried when talking to her. Then, I cried to Mom and Dad.

....Sigh... *wiping tears*

Even with all the studying I did, and all the confidence I had, I can't believe it.I am not going to panic yet. Mom said I shouldn't panic. I think that's a good idea, considering it's only the end of week 5. Dad encouraged me. They are the most supporting people I have ever seen. I call them on my good days, and I call them on my good days. I love them. I have the greatest parents in the world.

I have a three-day weekend. I am going to gather the troops, rethink my game plan, and put together a strategy for the next two years. I am reminding myself, "This is all I want."


This picture is from my graduation from SBU. They got me through then, and they will get me through now.

Coming home in tears...

So I had a hard day today...

I got my Anatomy lecture test back--82%. I got my Anatomy lab test back--70%. I wasn't totally displeased with the 82%. In fact, I felt that it was accurate. However, I do feel that if nearly everyone in the class misses an answer because it was one of the two correct answers and the professor felt that everyone should have picked "C" simply because she likes that letter better than "A" (even though she stated that this was a correct answer), there should be some displeasure. And there was. The worst part is, before trying to explain herself about that one particular question, the professor had stated that she would credit a question if half the class missed it. THEN she refused to say that she would give credit for the so-called botched question. :( It's not the fact that we all could have had 2 more points, it's the fact that we have been dealing with those kinds of things for 5 weeks already. She informed us that because some of the class had done well on the test, she was going to make the next one fill-in-the-blank. How thoughtful.

As for the lab test, I WAS disappointed. I felt okay going in, but I felt better about it when I left. I thought that it had went well. When we were handed our tests back by our lab "assistant," who is nothing more than an undergraduate student, we were told that the lowest score was 68%. That means I was the next lowest score. When there were a few questions about how certain things were pinned and labeled, we were told by our UNDERGRADUATE LAB ASSISTANT that, because we were graduate students, we weren't able to argue about our grade like we did in undergraduate courses. THE NERVE.

The stipulation in the PA program is that we can only accumulate 9 credit hours of a "C" grade before being excused from the program. I realize that we have a long time to go in the semester. But, with the physiology test on Wednesday (yeah, the one that is a TOTAL foreign language to me), I feel like there is a strong chance of making a C in Anatomy and a C in physiology. Let's do the math. Anatomy--6 hours. Physiology--3 hours. YIKES. Just the simple realization of this has made me realize my mortality within the PA program. Again, I must remind myself, this is ALL I WANT.

I tried studying with three people from my class this afternoon. After listening and contributing very little to their intellectual conversation, I found that I have a lot to learn about physiology before Wednesday.

Wish me luck for Wednesday. I apologize for the sarcasm. I just don't like coming home in tears.

By popular demand...

By popular demand, I am taking a break from studying for my Medical Physiology test to give an update! :) I had a busy week at school, including two lecture tests, one anatomy lab test, and THREE extra hours of medical physiology lecture back-to-back in addition to the regularly scheduled hour we had previously in the day. By the end of the 4 hours of Physiology, my brain was fried from what seemed more like a foreign language than the subject of cardiac action potentials we were actually studying!

Let me preface this by saying, I CRAVE quiet when I study. I NEED it. So, when Mike traveled out of town for his job on Wednesday and Thursday nights, I seized the opportunity to study to my heart's delight. It was... well... amazing.

One more preface: I entered undergrad as the valedictorian of my class. I had above a 4.0 GPA. Needless to say, I had high expectations. However, when I got my first test score back in undergrad, I was devastated. My very first test score--58% on a Chemistry I test. I immediately started doubting my potential in college. That's it--I was destined to fail out of school at the end of the first semester. Luckily, my mom and dad are the rational ones and wouldn't let me do that. I guess considering the fact that I made it grad school, things turned out okay. :)

My Clinical Assessment test was on Thursday morning. This class basically involves learning the "art" of examination and history-taking of patients. There is a clinical procedure that is followed by care-providers. There are an enormous amount of questions that a care-provider asks (just listen next time you go into a doctor's visit!). We were tested over this and the skin and also how it is examined. We also viewed slides for certain skin anomalies. Some of these slides were less than appetizing. Don't know quite yet if dermatology is the place for me. :)

On Friday morning, I had my Anatomy test. That afternoon we had the lab portion of the test. There is something interesting about going into a room with 7 cadavers who are helping you learn--post-mortem. I have never had cadaver lab before, and I didn't know how I would handle it. It's actually quite amazing to get into a cadaver's body and find differences among the other bodies in the room. I have the utmost respect for anyone who donates their body to science. This is one of the best ways to learn.

So, without further waiting, my score on my FIRST test in grad school--Clinical Assessment--was 95.2%!!! I was so pleased. I think there was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I think a little relief goes a long way. I haven't recieved my scores for my Anatomy lecture or lab tests yet--those are to come on Monday.

My next hurdle is Wednesday--Medical Physiology. If I get past that test, maybe, just maybe, I will survive. Now, back to studying...

The "Ashley" behind the "Ashley"...

I have never written a blog before, so here goes my best shot. This isn't for anyone but myself to watch my own progress, but I welcome the chance to have anyone else read and follow along as well. I have been told if you write your thoughts down, you can remember them at a later time--even if you can't remember the details. Writing is good for that.

I started this "journey" of sorts about three and a half years ago. I was in my last semester at SBU, and I was sure what I was going to do with my BS in Biology/Psychology. Nursing school? Sure, that was a thought. I even met with the dean of the nursing school. Even after our meeting, I still wasn't sure that's what I wanted. I was finishing up four and a half years in undergrad, and I didn't want to start over again to get a four-year degree in nursing. That's about the time I started doing my research. I found the Physician Assistant career, and the more I learned about it, the more I wanted to know. I started doing more research. Wouldn’t you know it--Missouri State University had a program in Springfield, MO. That was convenient enough for me--I lived in Bolivar. I could drive 30 minutes a day . I had already done that for the majority of undergrad. As I looked through the prerequisites, they looked intimidating, but doable. It would take some time. I started marking off the ones I needed, and it seemed like I was only one-quarter they way through the list of prerequisites. I had no previous medical experience, and, honestly, I didn't know how I was going to get that experience. I was a waitress!

After talking to some friends of mine who were also headed down the same track, they told me that I could become a nurse assistant. I applied at St. John's, and there I was--getting the ball rolling. I must say, my luck or blessings from above have been pretty good. I graduated SBU with a BS in Biology/Psychology on Friday, December 15, 2006, had my last day on the job as a full-time waitress two days later, and started at a nurse assistant at St. John's Hospital on December 18, 2006. It seemed to be going fast at that point. But let me elaborate a little...

Let's put it this way--2007 is a year I don't want to repeat. Don't get me wrong. There were lots of good things that happened that year, but there were many difficult things going on during that year. For starters, there was the infamous "Ice Storm of 2007." I was without power for 12 long days. After things got back to normal, I started taking Microbiology at Missouri State University. I needed the one class to fill one more prerequisite for graduate school in the PA program. One more check mark in the "completed" column…

However, another trial came as I went through my divorce. After being married ten and a half months, things had changed for Ryan and me. I was in school and working two jobs (I had picked up another part-time waitress job). Ryan was working 40+ hours in a week and working on our land. Our goals changed. Maybe it was the fact that my goals changed, and his were staying the same. I wanted to keep getting my education. To make what could be a long story short, we separated and filed for divorce. It was over. We had tried to work it out. We had taken off our rings, and we had put them back on. But finally, it seemed like making separate lists of assets turned out to be our last move. It was a relatively smooth separation. But, don't let anyone tell you otherwise--even when a divorce is "easy," it's not easy.

But, I moved on. It was hard at first. It was hard being the 23 year-old divorcee who everyone gave a "pity face" to at work. That wasn't me. I am bubbly, chipper, resilient. I continued being that way, and the fact that I was a 23 year-old divorcee waned. In fact, I met Mike Schnell. He was just a "punk kid" from the first day I met him. I have to laugh at that now. Mike was a classmate of mine, and he watched me go through the hard times. We went to dinner, and as they say, the rest is history.

Mike and I have a lot of fun. He is young and spontaneous and funny. He showed and taught me things no one else did. He taught me how to love in a different way. One of my favorite things ever is the fact that we ride his 2005 Harley-Davidson Night Train all over. He has loved to ride since he was young, and he never asked me or pushed me to ride. I simply asked him if I could ride with him one day. On a perfectly normal Independence Day in 2007, we took out on a ride to Stockton lake with his mom, step-dad, and family friend. Forty-five minutes later, we were in a hit-and-run accident outside of Greenfield, MO. We were beat up and broken, scraped and bruised, but alive. For whatever reason--a combination of God's grace and Mike's quick thinking, we survived being hit nearly head-on at 40 mph.

I was out of work for a month, and my emotions were a mess. I would cry at the drop of a hat. I would get mad a Mike for no reason, and then I would apologize almost immediately. I believe I was suffering from minor depression because of the head injury and also because my routine (home and work) had been altered without my control. But, again, things seemed to be back to normal, except for scars on my hands and elbows that serve as a reminder of that chaotic day.

So, it was only July, and I had gone through a wicked ice-storm, a divorce, and a motorcycle accident. I had a lot of support to go through those times. Although things weren't perfect for us all the time, Mom and Dad helped me more than anyone. They would listen as I cried or pondered or moaned and groaned. They are the best--and always will be.

Fast forward ten months--May 2008. I had worked at St. John's for about a year and a half. I had worked with some amazing patients, learned so many things, and seen things that I had never seen. After jumping through the hoops involved with meeting the prerequisites for PA school at MSU, I started filling out all the paperwork in early May. I was on vacation in Chicago when I got the call to interview for MSU. I was so excited, so say the least! On Friday, September 12th, 2008, I interviewed PA school. I waited for four weeks, but on Wednesday, October 8th, I got the call I had been so desperately waiting for--I had been accepted. My class of 26 would be started January 12th, 2009.

I cried. I was shaking like a leaf. I was red-faced because I was crying. I hugged Morgan so hard, I thought we were going to fall over. I called Dad, Mom, Lexi, Mike, Amy, Megan… They were all ecstatic! Jumping through the hoops and all the time I had spent thinking, working for, and devoting myself to PA school had worked.

So…. After all that, here I am, finishing up my second week in school. It's been a little bit hectic, to say the least. It has been all I want, but it has been hectic. I have read more these past two weeks than I did in the two years between undergrad and grad school. I haven't lost my determination to be in grad school though. It's intense--and it's all I wanted.

By the end of this second week, I have gotten to know 25 other adults who want the same thing I do. We are friends, and we will become family over the next two years. We have the same thoughts, but we have different experience. For that reason, we mesh together, helping and teaching one another. We have great synergy--the sum of the whole is more than the individual parts. I have met some amazing professors who have vast knowledge and patience.

I want this. It's all I have wanted, and I am going to work hard for it.